On Following Your Heart and Not Your Education System

the roving birder

This comicand blog post on zenpencils.com started out on the On My Radar post for Week 3. However, as I started talking about it, I found a bit of passion that I hadn’t been able to express in writing, and it became a bit long for an On My Radar post. So, I decided to give the topic it’s very own post.

Our education system (especially in the US) seems to stamp out all things that are creative, especially dance. I spent thirteen years of my life dancing in the evenings after school. I learned how to work with a team, work on my own, a bit of French, and an appreciation for the art. I learned that the more work you put into something, the more you see and are satisfied with your results (aka, dance taught me work ethic).

That’s me!

I was able to keep active and healthy, especially…

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NaNoWriMo and the J.K. Rowling Moment

I’m sharing this post on Tilting Sideways because I think it connects to the mission of the class I took. Starting NaNoWriMo was terrifying for me, but I learned in Seeing Sideways that, sometimes, you just have to go for it. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, great. The main point is to try, and that’s why I’ve decided to share this post on this blog.

Thoughts: Class Takeaway 9

Yesterday marked the last Seeing Sideways class for the summer. It’s been one of the best experiences I’ve had in my collegiate career, and the lessons aren’t one I’ll forget (they’ll be hard to forget as they’re printed on my coffee table).

To sum up my feelings, I will quote the ending of my post on my book transformation:

“In the creation of the altar and in combination with the class lessons, several other words stuck out to me that I might consider creating something out of: Relax, Flow, Peace, Possible, Make It Fun, What If, Explore, Be Curious, Think, and of course, the four “S”‘s: Synchronicity, Serendipity, Surrender, and Spontaneity.”

I think that quote sums up my feelings and biggest takeaways from the course. Along with those, I try to remember that things don’t have to be absolutely perfect for them to be wonderful. We are humans–even when we create–and it’s much more wonderful when there are human “flaws.”

Most of the exercises we did in the class were extremely helpful, and I think they’ll be very useful to repeat/model for when I am next in a creative block. I also think the assignments are fairly inspirational, and doing them might help me come up with new ideas for projects.

Create: A Transformation

Technology can be an intimidating thing. It does so much, and it has so much brainpower (without needing a brain). There are tons of issues we have with technology. We let it define ourselves. Many of us feel naked without our phones. Many of us are constantly connected. Many of our lives revolve around it. And many people see it as an inhibitor to progress.

However, technology can help open up doors that the physical body cannot do alone. When I first thought of technology, I thought of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars with his new arm. I then thought how artificial body parts are becoming usable and helpful. I also think of how that combining technology or projects with our own body can bring us closer to the project. It gives us some sort of (emotional?) connection to it, and having your body be a part of the project can also let others see the possibilities of human/technology combinations.

And though technology can lead us to greatness, it’s always good to unplug for a while. 

So much of our identities are based in the digital world. Many of us have a Facebook or Twitter account that we check regularly. Many of us use computers at work. Technology plays such a role in many of our lives. Without it, we lose a part of ourselves. However, I see our digital identity as one piece of a larger puzzle…and we are all made up of lots of these pieces. Some of them are bigger than others, and some of them shift around and change sizes as our lives go on.

In my alteration of that Film Art book, I looked at myself as a puzzle. I am not a simple puzzle (think Harry Potter Wizard’s Chess). Some of my pieces are in hiding, some of them have been battered, and I am no where near complete. My alteration is a combination of many parts of the book. It isn’t complete, just as I am not complete. I have lots of ideas on how to extend the project and add technology to it. However, that project is now one piece to my puzzle; I have developed a connection to it. The many pieces are like a physical metaphor for some of the pieces that make up my creative journey. Think of the pages as pieces of my puzzle that I have put on display. I’ve chosen to highlight this part of my creative journey, and I’m choosing to make it a public one. That table will be in my home. My guests and family will see that part of me. They will also see the top, which reads, “create.” That word is made up of cut outs of my book. Individually, they are one thing, and together they make up something else. That combination of pieces is like the combination of technology and the human body; apart they are one thing, but combined they are another. 

My alteration has been an emotional journey. The first idea sparked me in class, and I couldn’t shut up about it for days. I knew that I probably couldn’t finish all of the details in the time limit, but I was excited to try. I built some of the electrical components, but I decided to not add them in until after the semester…or even ever. Sometimes, I think those elements may not mesh well with the meaning of my project. I am very happy I left them out for now.

I enlisted help from my family, who all have their own opinions on what I should do. That caused quite a bit of tension and several miniature arguments. However, I stuck to my guns at some points, and I opened my mind to their ideas at other points (which led to some cool ideas).

This altered book is an altar to the puzzle that is myself. It is one part of that puzzle, and that one part consists of lots of smaller parts, but they are all equally important. I have a lot of learning to do still, and my creative journey is no where near complete.

In the creation of the altar and in combination with the class lessons, several other words stuck out to me that I might consider creating something out of: Relax, Flow, Peace, Possible, Make It Fun, What If, Explore, Be Curious, Think, and of course, the four “S”‘s: Synchronicity, Serendipity, Surrender, and Spontaneity.

Though the project might be complete for the course, I don’t think I’m finished with it…I might not ever be.

Here’s the creation of my alteration:

What the Bleep Do We Know?!

Our professor had to be out of town for a few days for her first residency for her second Master’s degree. So, she set us up to have an optional class to watch What the Bleep Do We Know?! (the extended edition). I’d seen the movie quite some time ago, but it had been a while. However, I did remember a lot of the scenes.

I’m glad I came in to watch it though. Basically, it tells the viewer that we create our reality. We control our present, and rules can be broken. The movie ties so well into the theme of the class, and I highly recommend everyone watch it. It can be a bit confusing, but at some point it clicks, and it becomes an enjoyable experience.

My favorite scene is where the little kid in the basketball court (where the possibilities are endless) challenges Amanda to play. In it, the kid tells us something I’ve been told before. We are mainly empty. When we think of our physical selves as mostly empty, more things become possible. Also in that scene, it discusses the idea that, when we aren’t looking, the possibilities are endless, but then when we look, one possibility is chosen. That’s something I constantly think about, and I believe that this idea is what fuels a lot of animated movies. Think Toy Story. When Andy isn’t looking, the toys come alive and move about. When he is, he expects them to be in a certain place and in a certain state of being, so that’s the possibility that is chosen.

Limitless thinking can open doors to creativity, so we must consider the possibilities, no matter how seemingly impossible they are. We are the ones who hold ourselves back.

Here’s the scene (sorry about the quality):

Puppies and Kitties and Bliss, Oh My!

I love animals. I especially love my two dogs, one cat, and my roommate’s cat. There is nothing that makes me happiest than spending time with them. So when it came to choosing three hours to do something that makes me happiest, I knew that I wanted to spend time with them.

Before leaving, I spent some time with Calypso, my roommate’s cat. She apparently wasn’t done with spending time with me and sat on my bag to keep me from leaving. 🙂

Calypso not letting me leave.

Helana and I on the recliner.

At first, I wanted to lock myself in a room with my two dogs and cat (who live at my parent’s house) for three hours, but I thought it might not turn out so blissful if I confine them to one space. Instead, I let myself roll around on the floor with them, play with them, pet them, and sleep on the floor with them. My cat isn’t as playful as my dogs, but she accompanied me around the house, and she “helped” me with my project. At one point, I got into the recliner to relax a bit, and Helana jumped up on top of me and laid right down. So we ended up cuddling for about an hour. Later on, I moved over to the couch, and Lucky came and kept my toes warm.

I think I spent more than three hours with them (really, I spent almost the whole weekend with them), but it was worth it. There aren’t pictures to document everything, though; I’d be too busy taking pictures to enjoy myself.

Around the time I went down to spend time with them, I was planning out the top of my project. I didn’t know what I wanted it to say, and I didn’t really know how I wanted it to look.  However, I had started to think about what feelings I wanted it to evoke. I wanted it to say something that would inspire, lead, or serve as a call to action. I

Lucky Lying next to Daniel as he slept.

wanted whatever the top said to be an active word.

After spending the time with the animals, I started working on the top of my project. I had debated using several words, but I settled on “create.” When my animals do something, they just go for it, which is something I need to work on. It doesn’t read, “plan, then think, then maybe create.” It’s a command. It tells me that yes, it’s okay to just try and create.

Enna “helping” as we started on the top of the project.

Fear: The Others

Being in a class, I wasn’t the only person who had to present a fear project; everyone did. Out of everyone in the class, I had the strongest reaction to Charles’s project. He pulled three volunteers out into the hallway without telling them what they’d signed up for. He subsequently blinded them, brought them into the room one at a time, and fed them some awful (to me) food.

You could call me a finicky eater; I call myself an adaptive eater. Anywhere I go, I will always find something to eat (I eat practically 24/7). But that doesn’t mean I like trying new food…especially when I have no idea what I’m trying. So, I’m very happy I didn’t volunteer.

There was one moment where something clicked for me. Mike (one of the volunteers) said, after chewing some presumably awful thing, (and I’m paraphrasing here) “those weren’t as bad as everyone says they are.”

I have always been told that I’m missing so many wonderful things by not trying new foods that much. I stay very much in my comfort zone when it comes to food. Charles’s project affected me because it made me see that I could be missing out on new things if I keep my guard up. That does not mean that I’m going to run out and eat a bunch of anchovies and jumbo olives, but that does mean that I will pay closer attention to what I’m doing. Am I staying in my comfort zone because I know it’s safe? Why? What would happen if I stepped out of my comfort zone? What are those possibilities?

Charles’s fear project basically summed up quite a lot of the lessons I learned in Seeing Sideways.

However, the project and the laughter and lessons it held left me feeling extremely nervous about my own project, especially in retrospect. My project wasn’t fun. It wasn’t going to challenge others physically. It was just going to get them thinking. No one would probably listen, and I felt bad bringing the mood down. I honestly didn’t want to present. But, I am still happy he did his project, and I’m happy I was able to take something away from it.

 

 

Fear: The Reaction

I have experienced pure fear, and every now and then, I am reminded of it. Last year, I was plopped into a string of horrible situations with horrible people. For the fear assignment, I decided (without going into deep detail), what I’ve experienced, what effects those experiences have had on me, living with anxiety and depression, and what I have done to overcome it.

When I was sharing my experiences to the class, most of them avoided eye contact with me, which is in line with the first part of my hypothesis (discomfort). However, they continued to face away from me for my discussion, and I couldn’t really gauge their emotional reactions. No one really said a whole lot after I was done, so I just kind of felt uncomfortable. There is really no way for me to see if they gained a greater understanding of the fear I live with, but I hope they did.

I really didn’t want to present this in the first place (not because I am not open to share my experiences, but because I had better ideas that I couldn’t make happen). However, I probably could have been braver (I feared the presentation) and stood up, had them close their eyes, and imagine something. I was too afraid to trigger someone. I also could have organized my speech a little more. I had practiced it twice, but I strayed away from what I had wanted to say (slightly). I probably should have written it out. I would have loved to paint or create something to present to the class as a hands-on visual, but I don’t think I’m quite at that level skill-wise or financially. It wasn’t great, but I did what I could.

For the future, I have to overcome whatever blocks that I had (fear of triggering, unhappiness with the project, etc.) and just present with full confidence. I would definitely find a way to engage the audience a bit more (visuals?, sounds, more performanc-y, pass around my journal?, etc.), and hopefully I would be able to read the audience a little better.

 

Fear: The Hypothesis

By the assignment guidelines, I cannot post what I plan to do during the presentation of the Fear projects today. I can only post how I think the class will react. So I apologize for the vagueness of this post.

Firstly, I think the class will likely have a feeling of discomfort. After that initial discomfort, I think/hope they will be able to empathize with the window of fear I open. After that window closes, I think they will have a greater understanding of what I will present in my presentation.

Time Should Not Equal Money: Class Takeaway 8

Yesterday’s class was great. I was shown a great book (that isn’t a book), a new audio program, a new music genre, and was introduced/reminded of some great ideas. I took more notes in class yesterday than I have thus far, so I won’t list out everything.

The biggest point that stood out to me was the idea that time doesn’t necessarily exist. The American concept of time seems to me more of a social construct than anything. Having time or making time for something doesn’t exist. It’s more of a choice of how we organize and prioritize our time. In English, we equate time with money. But, I don’t think that’s necessarily true. We can “spend” our time doing things. We can spend it trying to make more money, or we can better prioritize our time and life choices to fully enjoy the little money we have.

If I work 40 hours a week doing something I hate to make money to spend it on a place (read: apartment) where I barely spend any time regardless, am I happy? But what if I worked less (or at least worked doing something I enjoyed), paid less for a smaller place, and went out and did things I love? Or, as an introvert, I spent my money making my home an enjoyable place (read: a sanctuary). Or what if I used the 20 hours a week I’m not working to travel? There are so many possibilities, but first we have to free ourselves from the idea that in order to “live,” we have to sacrifice our time.

But let’s say that life requires you to work 40 hours a week doing something that sucks? First, I would say to save as much money as you can to end the need to work so much. Second, I would say to find something, anything that you can enjoy or learn from the work you do. Third, try to find a job that you enjoy.

Our lives (and the unknown time we have) are precious, don’t spend them doing something you hate. Fully enjoy your life, even if that means you don’t have much money. Contrary to popular belief, money doesn’t equal success. Your satisfaction in life is what I would call success.